Dreading Sunday Nights
I used to dread Sunday nights. There was something about the weekend ending and the work week starting that created an anxious, stirring emotion in my gut.
Sunday nights without my children were even worse. I found, during the days leading to a Sunday night empty nest, that I would save tasks for these lonely nights. Somehow the Sunday night “to do list” always involved doing things I didn’t particularly enjoy, like going through the mail, changing sheets on the beds, or cleaning bathrooms. These tasks are challenging any night of the week, but especially tough in the quietness of the empty house.
How to Heal - Depression After Abuse
When my house is quiet, and my kids were with their dad, the reality of my situation always started jarring up negative memories and thoughts. By dinner time, my anxiety would return; by 8:00 pm the idea of doing anything else was overwhelming. There were some nights where I would just cry, begging for someone to show up to clean up my kitchen. All these anxious thoughts made sleeping tough and waking up on Monday mornings even more challenging.
Of course, the textbook answer would be to not leave these unpleasant tasks to Sunday night or try to find a way to enjoy the quiet time doing something calming. Wow. It drives me crazy when people recommend the obvious. Like I don’t already know this!
I can pass along one (hopefully) encouraging thought that my journey has taught me. Eventually, someday, your situation will change. Your children will grow up, or your abuser will move. Time had a way of getting me through the 52 Sundays during those bad years. What you are experiencing right now is not a lifetime commitment.
At some point, sometimes sooner and sometimes later, your Sunday night routine will change and become more bearable. I hope you find comfort in knowing this.
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.