As I sit in church Sunday after Sunday mornings, I often leave discouraged and jealous. Surrounded by a thousand perfectly dressed, smiling, loudly singing, and actively listening to the sermon people causes me to feel unworthy. Unloved. Not good enough for God.
Over and over I ponder the same confusing thought: If God truly loved me, He surely wouldn’t have let the abuse get so bad, right? If He really loved me, then the horrors of the night my abuser held me in a chokehold with my feet dangling inches off the ground wouldn’t have happened, right? If God truly loved me, I wouldn’t be feeling so alone and isolated. Domestic Violence and Faith
Why couldn’t God be there for me? I was going to church, reading my bible, and enjoying quiet time praying every morning. Yet, I still wasn’t able to hold on to the belief that God was there for and with me.
What changed? Years of confusion and crying out to God finally brought me to this painful reality: the emotional abuse I endured for 20 years brainwashed me. The yelling and name calling brainwashed me so significantly that I believed my abuser’s lies as truths – truths I didn’t question or understand were lies. Lies like:
In my new series of blog posts, I am going to share how I started the process of being able to identify my abuser’s lies versus God’s truth. I will also share tools I used to assist me. What lies from your abuser are holding you hostage from receiving God’s truth and love? Please comment on any lies you are feeling held hostage by; chances are I was bond by a similar lie which I can share thoughts about. Blessings to all, Sue See also "Recovering from domestic violence" and "Abuse Recovery"
2 Comments
Carrie
9/12/2019 07:15:29 pm
I’m a burden.
Sue
9/13/2019 11:00:50 am
Carrie, your lies are so raw.... and so painful. I've been there and it's a very lonely place. Thank you so much for sharing.... I'll pray on these and try to provide some tools that worked for me in defeating these lies on a blog I'll post next week. Please know that you are not alone! Leave a Reply. |
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences. 
Sue's StoryBeing separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless. Categories
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