Over the past few weeks I’ve had a heavy prayer on my heart. Thirteen years after leaving my abuser and I still struggle with control of my thoughts. I struggle with the slowly moving evolution of something entering my mind and, instead of me telling the thought to go away, I let it meander around. And, after a little meandering around in my thoughts, the conflicting message gains momentum and eventually becomes “reality” in my head.
Because I don’t stop the temptation of the thought or the lie immediately upon entering my mind, it becomes stronger and bigger than life when I do decide to tackle it.
Regaining Control of My Thoughts
Pondering this brought me to the reality that this approach puts me constantly in the reaction mode. Here I am years into actively working on my transformation to survivor and I realized I am still reacting to parts of my world versus living in my world completely.
I wondered, what would happen if I put down my phone and instead talked to God for a week? What would happen if I devoted all of my social media, reading the news, and checking out Facebook time to talking with God? Here’s what I discovered:
On day 3 of my social media fast I answered a huge prayer for someone in my family. Without me really realizing it until after the situation developed, God used me to deliver a message for Him. Being in that moment allowed me to brag about our awesome God and ensure He received all the glory.
On day 5 of my social media fast, I focused hard on the message placed in my heart that even though I can’t control my world, I can control my thoughts towards the situations in my world. I worked hard at distinguishing these two significant but often overlapping dynamics in my world. I went back to empowering the strength of the Holy Spirit to give me the discipline to kick out unhealthy thoughts immediately.
The day after I finished my social media fast, a major breakthrough for my heavy heart was lifted.
For three continuous days after my fast ended, a person or co-worker was compelled to tell me how God just answered a prayer for them. Here I was, live and in the moment, hearing how God had JUST answered other people’s prayers. I felt so much clarity in bringing Him the praise and glory for answered prayers.
I have never experienced this many answered prayers by people in my world in such a short period of time. To say I am in awe is such an understatement.
This was by far the best fasting experience I have ever undergone. I now understand the true value of fasting and how this experience brought me so much closer to God.
I apologize for the long blog but my excitement couldn’t be contained,
Blessings to all,
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.