Prioritize Professional Counseling
I will be the first to admit; I used to dread the early part of a day before a counseling session. Back when my world was a dark, horrible secret in which I trusted no one, the counseling sessions were just an exercise in voicing a few thoughts while avoiding the “emotional” feelings after domestic violence. I don’t know how many times I stated, very clearly, I don’t remember “how I felt” when…. happened.
Recovery from Domestic Abuse - Professional Counseling
Just last week, my current counselor gave me that “I don’t believe you” look when I told her:
What I can confirm is that, during the various ups and downs of my recovery, my various counselors have played a major role in my understanding what I have been through. Additionally, I have gained valuable insight to help me better understand the impact of what I have lived through and adjustments I need to be making, so I can function easier.
Roles of Different Counselors I Have Met With
The crisis counselor whom I met with for the first few months after my abuser left, made me realize, with no blinders or excuses, that what was happening to me was wrong and not my fault. She helped me understand that my abuser was not going to change and my life was in danger if I didn’t start to take control of the situation.
My first long-term counselor worked with me on the basic realization of my situation and general coping skills. On a side note, when you don’t tell your primary doctor WHY you need to go to counseling, you might end up with a male counselor like myself! He tried hard, but unfortunately, he apparently didn’t understand my fear.
After a break, my second long-term counselor took me through the tough subjects of co-dependency, boundaries, alcohol and the impact these leftover pieces from my past have on my current world.
My faith grew significantly during the year I met with a Christian counselor from my church. She patiently clarified so many confusing parts of my journey from a faith perspective.
Currently, I am working with another wonderful Christian counselor. Her ability to open my wounds, treat them gently, then refile them in a less disturbing way in my mind, has moved me forward a lot. I find myself open to a lot more self-reflection than in the past.
If you haven’t tried counseling, taken a break, or had a bad first experience, I recommend looking at counseling options available. As much as I dread going into these sessions most of the time, I can say with 100% guarantee that almost every time I leave the session I am so glad I went!
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.