During the dark, depressing days after I separated from my abuser, I found two approaches that helped me break out of my depressing thought processes. With all that is going on with the Coronavirus, I hope sharing an excerpt from my book is helpful:
One philosophy that worked for me (during my depression phase after leaving my abuser) was to “tackle the elephant one toe at a time.” During those early recovery years, many competing life issues fought to overwhelm me: my finance, living situation, childcare, job, car maintenance, parents’ health, divorce proceedings, and my children’s health.
Depression after Abusive Relationship
When I tried to work on many projects at the same time, I felt like I was just running around in circles without really getting much of anything accomplished. So, I tried to categorize and triage the exhausting list of things I needed to do. Concentrating on and competing one or two things at a time game me focus and a sense of accomplishment.
Something else that worked for me was finding one positive thing during the day and focusing on that. Often it was a smile or a hug from my children, an hour without thinking of my past, or a day in which my boss found no fault with my work.
I realize that if I looked at my day with an open mind, I could find something there to bring one good thought and smile. Then I could focus on that until the next positive thing happened. I wrote these positive thoughts in a journal. On days when I had trouble finding a positive thought or event, I went back and read ones from previous days from my journal.
Below, you'll find another blog from a couple of years ago that is so relevant to this topic. Instead of seeking joy- it addresses how to lean on God and trust in Him even when bad things happen to us. These two actions- seeking joy and leaning on God work in tandem during tough times.
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.