Denial is a Powerful Tool
For many of us, it’s being brought to the brink of death that provides the strength for us to leave our abuser. For others, we remain in our situations, wishing for the happier days to return, until the children start sounding like our abuser’s and question why we are not doing what we are being told to do. Regardless of what our reason(s) are for leaving our abuser, the significance of the decision is monumental. It signifies that the door to our denial surrounding domestic violence is about to be opened, and the journey to domestic violence survivor has “officially” begun.
With denial, I knew in my heart what was truly going on, yet in my head, I could suppress these horrible feelings and believe them not to be true. Denial allowed me to reject the truth of what was going on in my marriage. My realization that my world was not going to change was a pivotal point in starting my recovery. At these moments, I had to realize that whether I wanted to or not, I must now make drastic changes in my world. I had to start accepting the reality that I could no longer remain in my current situation anymore. The changes had to start now or I would die.
Dangers of denial surrounding domestic violence
With denial, I held on to the hope that if I kept trying harder, someday my world would become better. If I held onto my denial, I knew I was only days away from my pain being outdated. Happier days were surely coming soon – at least that is what my denial convinced me of.
Here are some things I learned about denial:
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.