Life Events Continue on While Being a Domestic Violence Victim

​So many non-victims that I share my abusive background with can’t believe the horrific things my abuser did to me. But what I don’t believe I do a good job at describing is that my life continued on as I was being victimized.
 
During the five years we were challenged with our daughter’s cancer, and subsequent bone marrow transplant, the abuse increased 100%. Literally, I remained bruised from her diagnosis at two years old until I separated from my abuser five years later. My abuser couldn’t handle the pain, suffering, and possible loss of our daughter so he took it all out on me. Deep down, not unlike the increased abuse I suffered with the birth of our first child, my abuser definitely didn’t like my being distracted and not completely focused on his wants and needs. I specifically remember one extremely painful beating I received due to my being more focused on our daughter and ignoring his needs. Those of us who suffer abuse know exactly what I am talking about. 

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Trauma and Domestic Violence

​Additionally, during the last five years I was together with my abuser:

• My father passed away
• My mother suffered a life-threatening stroke
• My abuser was diagnosed with cancer
• My oldest son’s appendix burst
• I transitioned to civilian life after serving on active duty for 21 years

 
My point for sharing all of this is: life around me didn’t stop just because I was being abused. As a victim, I had to tackle everything else that life threw in my way all while being beaten and emotionally abused.
 
As a victim, I never gave myself enough credit for realizing all that I was juggling at the time of the explosive abuse. Yes, most days I was just going through the motions to accomplish all that needed to be done. I hasn’t been until recently, almost twelve years into my transformation to domestic violence survivor, that I realize how strong I really must have been.
 
Ladies, we are stronger than we often give ourselves credit for. It may take years into your recovery to recognize the strength I now realize I had, but I can tell you from personal experience, believing in yourself again is worth every ounce of effort to fight for.
 
Fight to believe in yourself again.
 
Fight to give yourself credit for how strong you are to be a survivor.
 
Fight to take away the power your abuser has over you.