Returning to Faith after Domestic Violence Abuse

God: Where are you?
During the midst of my abuse, I thought for sure God had abandoned me. Or, I was being punished for a sin I committed 20 years ago. I was totally convinced that God had no interest in my situation and had left me out to handle it all without Him. Any thoughts that I had of returning to faith after domestic violence abuse was quickly discarded due to my strong, yet false, belief that if God had truly cared, He would have saved me from the abuse earlier.

​My distorted belief prompted me to take care of my abusive world myself. The superwomen, do-all, I can live through this, and I can do anything mentality caused me to believe that I knew what was best for me. It caused me to make critical decisions based on what I felt versus what I believed. I felt like I was the only person who had experienced this extensive physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I felt like no one understood my tenuous situation. I felt abandoned with nowhere to turn. I felt like I was the only person who could help me get through this dangerous life that I had.

After 18 years of abuse, my abusive (ex) husband attempted to kill me. Once I was safe, I cried inconsolably and prayed for the first time in years. My prayer was simple: God, if you allow me to stay alive today, I promise I will do whatever it takes to get me and the children away from their dad. In the absence of knowing what else to do, I prayed this prayer hourly for the next 30 days.
Ten years later, I am happy to say that not only am I alive, the children are safe, and my abuser no longer harasses me, but I am calm, happy, and able to love others again.

Returning to Faith After Domestic Violence Abuse
Here are a few lessons that my journey of revitalizing my faith after a 20-year hiatus taught me:

• God met me right where I was at on the bathroom floor that evening. No theologian degree was required. Attending church was not required. The only thing God required was an open heart to allow Him in.
• God’s love and guidance are always available! He’s available to listen to my venting, confusion, and anxiety 24 hours a day! What a great friend to have! No matter where I am or what I am doing I can always talk to Him and seek guidance.
• My relationship with my faith brings a level of peace to my world that I never thought possible.
• God does love us all. He is not punishing us – the Bible promises that.
  
  

If it’s been a long time since you’ve thought about your faith, I ask that you please consider God’s assistance earlier than I did. A minute or two longer in that choke hold and I wouldn’t be writing this blog today.

If it’s been a while since you’ve talked to God, shared your pain, confusion, and anger, I wonder if today might be the day to consider doing so. An Easter church service is a wonderful reminder of God’s love for us all.

If you are looking for an online church service, please email me at sue@recoveringfromdomesticviolence.com. I would gladly share the website with the church that I have been attending for the past 9 years. You could watch the online service safely on your cell phone or Ipad.

I pray God keeps you emotionally and physically safe.