Even after years of counseling and diligently working on my recovery from my domestic abuser, I fell into a dark hole of darkness recently on Thanksgiving Day. There is something deeply hiding within my subconscious during this holiday. Although I prepared myself in advance for the looming anxiety of this day, I was once again caught off guard by the holiday triggers which overshadowed this day for me.
I sit here and ponder why, once again, my heart was filled with gloom on Thanksgiving Day. I wonder if it’s because the painful memories of this day all roll together in my mind in an indistinguishable way.
Whereas in an otherwise normal day, I may encounter a song which triggers me, or someone might say something that reminds me of a painful piece of my past. As I have strengthened my ability to lessen the impact of my triggers over the years, I have learned to deflate daily triggers reasonably well.
Yet, on Thanksgiving Day, I felt myself remembering painful pieces of almost a dozen Thanksgivings! For me, it’s easy to distinguish the holiday memories based on either the age of my children (or pre-children). Or, another distinguishing factor is the location of the holiday celebration. So, unbeknownst to me, I was trying to counter attack multiple Thanksgiving memories almost all day long! No wonder my head was spinning by the end of the day.
Possible New Strategies for regaining control of thoughts after abuse
I am now considering adding a few more strategies to my upcoming Christmas holiday season trigger management effort. I am going to:
Blessings to all,
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.