The first few years after separating from my abusive husband were almost as horrible as the abusive days. I knew being away from him was the right thing to do, but in the absence of having him tell me what to do, when to do it, and how to do things, I was a complete fumbling mess. I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually numb.
When I aligned my early feelings during my recovery with the grieving cycle, I started to obtain my first real understanding of what I was feeling. To many non-victims, I am sure it is terribly confusing why I would be grieving the loss of my abusive husband. To me, this is okay that a non-victim doesn’t understand; the feelings I am feeling are real! Although my marriage ended in the worst possible way, I still feel the right to grieve my:
Below is a list of the stages of grief:
In the next few days I will post a continuation blog on this topic: what our denial looks like and how it hinders our ability to move forward.
Please let me know if this topic is helpful,
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.