RECOVERING FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Menu

blog

Coping Skills Not Working

7/18/2019

0 Comments

 
Coping Skills
Last week I left work at noon; barely able to get to the car without the waterfall of tears starting. The tears overtook me quickly. Looking back, I probably had less than two minutes from being into anxiety mode to full melt down mode.

The tears flowed and my body quivered as I drove myself home. I had been three years since my body gave into my PTSD so strongly. Curling up in the fetal position in my chair, it didn’t take me long to figure out what was happening. My coping skills weren’t working and my PTSD was once again controlling my reactions to my world.

Anxiety - Abuse Recovery

Superwomen Mentality 
I didn’t survive the horrors of my past and years of being a single parent “just because”. No – the only way I got through those trying times was digging deep into my gut and being a superwoman. Personally, I believe we are all superwomen to live through what we’ve endured (but that is a different blog).
Eventually my tears slowed down, and I started to examine what was really going on. 

PTSD is a Part of Who I Am
It’s bad enough the years of happiness my abuser took away from me. Yet, I’ve approached my recovery with a cover of “no more”. No more will I be influenced by my abuser’s control.

What I haven’t come to terms with though is my PTSD. Can I finally come to terms with my new body part, my new friend, PTSD? Can I finally acknowledge that my PTSD wins – and accept the fact that we are lifetime buddies? NOTE: this is not the case for everyone; I have friends who are able to totally overcome their PTSD. 

I’ve decided that my PTSD doesn’t win because I am giving up. It wins because, in contrast, I have realized, embraced, acknowledged, and believed in my heart that nothing on this earth is going to allow it to go away. My brain endured trauma; and my brain isn’t letting go of the impact any time soon. My PTSD is not something my abuser did to me; instead it is how God put me back together again after the abuse thus allowing me to live again. 
​

I can’t be open to God’s voice and emotions in my heart if my physical world is fighting this unseen, mostly unbelieved battle. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through him who give me strength”. 
​

So, here’s my response to the people in my world:
  • I can’t worry about how you don’t understand how my memory is impacted
  • I can’t worry about how you think my anxiety is annoying
  • Instead of holding back my tears, I need to allow them to flow to release the painfulness of the situation

Here is what I am going to do:
  • Stop pretending to be okay when my coping skills are being challenged like in crowds or anxious surroundings
  • Embrace my physical and emotional health as a priority; take care of myself because it is okay for me to put myself first sometimes
  • Stop being so dependent on my mask and superwoman mentality; instead, allow myself to feel and be in the moment

Blessings to all, 
Sue 


See also "Recovering from domestic violence" and "Abuse Recovery"
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Hi, I'm Sue

    Author Sue Parisher
    Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.

    My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
    More About Sue

    Subscribe

    * indicates required
    Picture

    Sue's Story

    Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.

    Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.
    Order on Amazon
    Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lies of Domestic Abuse with God's Truth

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Anxiety From Domestic Violence
    Emotional Abuse
    How To Deal With Domestic Violence
    How To Get Over An Abusive Relationship
    Importance Of Faith In Domestic Violence Recovery
    Transforming From Domestic Violence Victim To Survivor
    Triggers After Abuse
    What To Expect After Leaving An Abusive Relationship

    Archives

    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." GENESIS 50:20 NIV

Rock Bottom and Faithless

Available Now
Order Amazon
Order Barnes & Noble
Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lies of Domestic Abuse with God's Truth
  • Home
  • About
    • Site Map
  • Rock Bottom and Faithless
  • Resources
    • Deflating my Triggers
    • Overwhelming Anxiety
    • Tackling Depression after Leaving
    • Book Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • Site Map
  • Rock Bottom and Faithless
  • Resources
    • Deflating my Triggers
    • Overwhelming Anxiety
    • Tackling Depression after Leaving
    • Book Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • Contact