Challenges to Recovering from Domestic Violence

No wonder our journey to domestic violence survivor seems so insurmountable sometimes! When you break down all the pieces that we have going against us, it’s enough to want to just curl up and cry. I didn’t ask for this abuse. I surely didn’t ask for my world to be put on hold while I recover from years of abuse. Other victims reading this blog didn’t willingly sign up for their horrible situations either. Abusers in our world have anger, control, power, and emotional instability problems that they can’t control. It’s not our fault.

Recovery from Domestic Abuse - Challenges

​Sometimes I find myself in the middle of a pity party, whining and complaining that this journey stinks. Repeatedly, I find myself overwhelmed by the thought of all the challenges I face while trying to free myself from my abuser’s controls lingering in my head. At times, I feel like giving up.

Challenges of Our Recovery

• Secrecy of the abuse
• Physical and emotional safety
• Lack of support (for me, this is contributed to my secrets)
• Overwhelming anxiety and or depression
• Lack of self-confidence
• Negative reminders in our head
• Co-parenting with our abuser
• PMS hormones
• Lack of sleep

Look at all the challenges we face! No wonder I feel overwhelmed and discouraged so often. I would take a superstar to navigate through all of this!
But ladies, that is who we are. We are superwomen and superstars. We have been forced into a dangerous balancing act of survival versus reality. We are living in a world of verbal sniper attacks without warning. We are learning how to survive again an enemy who changes daily, and sometimes hourly. We live in a world of insurmountable real and self-imposed stress. One bad judgement call and we receive serious bodily harm or a verbal lashing that leaves permanent, lifelong scars.
Yes, pity parties are helpful to get through the day; we are only human. Once the gloating is over and it’s time to get back to reality, please remember you’ve come a long way from where you started out. My abuse lasted 18 years. There is no way my recovery is going to be completed in a short amount of time. There are years of rewiring that need to be untangled.
Daily I check the progress of my recovery. Here’s what I have discovered: if I am moving forward and not being complacent, than I am going in the right direction. As long as we keep progressing in our thoughts and actions, than we are moving closer towards becoming a domestic violence survivor.
Someday, sometimes sooner and sometimes later, it will all come together and become instinctive. Until that day,  keep fighting your fight.