No wonder our journey to domestic violence survivor seems so insurmountable sometimes! When you break down all the pieces that we have going against us, it’s enough to want to just curl up and cry. I didn’t ask for this abuse. I surely didn’t ask for my world to be put on hold while I recover from years of abuse. Other victims reading this blog didn’t willingly sign up for their horrible situations either. Abusers in our world have anger, control, power, and emotional instability problems that they can’t control. It’s not our fault.
Recovery from Domestic Abuse - Challenges
Sometimes I find myself in the middle of a pity party, whining and complaining that this journey stinks. Repeatedly, I find myself overwhelmed by the thought of all the challenges I face while trying to free myself from my abuser’s controls lingering in my head. At times, I feel like giving up.
Challenges of Our Recovery
But ladies, that is who we are. We are superwomen and superstars. We have been forced into a dangerous balancing act of survival versus reality. We are living in a world of verbal sniper attacks without warning. We are learning how to survive again an enemy who changes daily, and sometimes hourly. We live in a world of insurmountable real and self-imposed stress. One bad judgement call and we receive serious bodily harm or a verbal lashing that leaves permanent, lifelong scars.
Yes, pity parties are helpful to get through the day; we are only human. Once the gloating is over and it’s time to get back to reality, please remember you’ve come a long way from where you started out. My abuse lasted 18 years. There is no way my recovery is going to be completed in a short amount of time. There are years of rewiring that need to be untangled.
Daily I check the progress of my recovery. Here’s what I have discovered: if I am moving forward and not being complacent, than I am going in the right direction. As long as we keep progressing in our thoughts and actions, than we are moving closer towards becoming a domestic violence survivor.
Someday, sometimes sooner and sometimes later, it will all come together and become instinctive. Until that day, keep fighting your fight.
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.