Last week I looked at my bank statement and saw that my car payment draft was two-thirds lower than what it should have been. I believe this deduction was my last payment; I now own a car free and clear.
Six years ago, bankrupt and barely hanging on financially, I walked into a car dealership some 45 minutes away from my house. Embarrassed due to being bankrupt, I thought looking at cars a few towns over would spare me the awkwardness of someone in town knowing my situation.
Not unlike many domestic violence victims, my abuser had over spent and thrown us into bankruptcy a few years earlier.
From Victim to Domestic Violence Survivor
My middle child was turning 16; his dad had given him a Durango months ago (which was what I was driving) but upon him obtaining his license, I had to give up the Durango back to him. Talk about embarrassing: my two sons had cars from their dad yet my van couldn’t pass the annual inspection three months prior. I found myself excited for my middle child to obtain his driving independence to be able to move himself back and forth from sporting practice and events, yet panicked as I now lost my ability to go back and forth to work.
I had no choice; I had to see how bad the bankruptcy was going to affect me. Memories of being denied a $300 debit card at the Sheetz gas station a year prior still haunted me.
The car salesman asked so many questions about what kind of car I wanted. Soft spoken and reluctant to talk too much, I said little. I remember test driving one car I thought was in my price range. What I really needed to do was talk to the loan department is what I told him. I assured him the financial piece was going to be the bigger problem than me finding a car that I liked.
The lady working in the loan department was so nice. Turns out she also is a divorcee and victim of bankruptcy; I couldn’t help but be so thankful to God for sending me so someone who truly understood my predicament. Noncommittal but extremely encouraging, she took my information and said she’d contact the various banks they work with first thing Monday morning.
Tuesday afternoon I received a pivotal phone call in my transformation from victim to survivor: the loan officer found a bank that would finance the car loan for me. She said it wasn’t for the car that I test drove, but for another, nicer and lower mileage car they had in the car lot. She excitedly asked me when can I come up to sign the paperwork? My kids and I drove up the next day.
The tears I cried while signing the paperwork for the car were tears of joy, disbelief that someone believed in me, and utter surprise. God sent me to this car dealership to work with a compassionate person who had walked in my shoes. Confirmation of His love to help me lessen the burden of the financial situation my abuser had left me in was overwhelming.
Earlier this week I participated in a Facebook live event with Called to Peace Ministries. The purpose of the event was to bring awareness to and raise money for their emergency fund used to support domestic violence victims as they start their journey away from their abusers.
Although I support Called to Peace Ministries financially myself, I also support them by donating the proceeds of my book, Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lie of Domestic Abuse with God’s Truth to transportation requirements for victims. So far, I have been able to provide funds to assist two women with purchasing a car; the book proceeds have assisted in providing independence! What a great gift.
If you would like to join me in being able to provide transportation assistance to the women of Called to Peace Ministries, please consider purchasing my book; it’s a great two for one bargain!
I pray for safety and calmness to all,
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.