RECOVERING FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Menu

blog

Being Part of the Solution

8/13/2020

0 Comments

 
Being Part of the Solution
I was getting really frustrated prior to my social media fast about something I had little control over. As I have been sharing recently, my boundaries were being crossed and I was at my wits end. The rambling, nonstop, conflicting loud voices in my head were driving me crazy. I was unable to sleep. I was unable to focus on anything except the internal battle going on in my head.
 
Towards the end of my week fast from social media, a random thought pushed its way into my thoughts. “What if you focused on being part of the solution?”
 
Due to the randomness of this thought and considering it had nothing to do with what I was doing at the time, I stopped immediately. What did this thought mean? Especially as it occurred during a time of fasting? Meditating and pray brought me the following:
 
Although I do not always have control over what happens to me in my life, I do have control over my reaction to the events in my world.
​

Regaining control of thoughts after abuse

It occurred to me I’d been fighting the wrong battle. I realize that there was a huge chance my boundaries had been crossed due to my trying to control a particular situation versus letting God control the scenario. In my fight to get what I thought was best, I lost focus on my mental well-being and prioritized my trying to control the situation instead. Head first and arms flaying, I had fallen into the well-versed trap of lies and deception.

Being Part​ of the Solution

One of the hardest things I learned to do during my transition to survivor was turning my abuser over to God. During one of the seasons where I just wanted to argue with him, it occurred to me: what if my arguing or attempt at manipulating a situation was provoked by Satan and not the work of God? What if the actions, arguments, or inactions I contributed influenced God’s ability to do what He needed to do? What if my human actions (versus those directed by God) impacted a situation and caused God’s plan for my abuser to be delayed or postponed? 
 
It was during this season of forgiveness that I realized I needed to step back and out of God’s way. God’s word states that He will seek revenge for me; I needed to trust that God’s ability to seek revenge was so much greater than any attempt I could muster.

​“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14

I can’t be silent if my head is filled with racing thoughts. I can’t be silent if I am not focused on God fighting my battles versus fighting them myself. I can’t be silent unless I remember who is in charge of the situation and what my role is (to be a selfless servant).
 
For me, being silent doesn’t mean I can’t protect myself emotionally and physically.
 
What it means though is that my motives, actions, reactions, body language, and word choices need to come from what God is telling me to do. My reactions to the situation need to be motivated by His word and guidance I receive.
 
Honestly, changing the perspective of my thought process to focusing on my thoughts and reactions to my world versus controlling my world has brought me a renewed perspective. A calmer, quieter perspective on a few important things in my life.
 
And an exciting side note: it’s strengthened my boundaries for this particular situation.
 
Blessings to all,

Sue
The Lord will fight for you

Establishing My Boundaries

Five years after my divorce, my abuser continued to harass me by calling me on the phone with the guise that we had to talk about something concerning our children.  Of course, he would start out with something of relevance to the kids, but as usual, moments later, I would be in the midst of a verbally abusive lashing.  Just seeing his name on the caller-ID, rattled me and filled me with anxiety. I now know that the reason I was having such a hard time was that I hadn’t been informed about an important piece of my recovery. The domestic violence recovery tip: establishing boundaries.
Keep Reading
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Hi, I'm Sue

    Author Sue Parisher
    Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.

    My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
    More About Sue

    Subscribe

    * indicates required
    Picture

    Sue's Story

    Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.

    Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.
    Order on Amazon
    Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lies of Domestic Abuse with God's Truth

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Anxiety From Domestic Violence
    Emotional Abuse
    How To Deal With Domestic Violence
    How To Get Over An Abusive Relationship
    Importance Of Faith In Domestic Violence Recovery
    Transforming From Domestic Violence Victim To Survivor
    Triggers After Abuse
    What To Expect After Leaving An Abusive Relationship

    Archives

    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." GENESIS 50:20 NIV

Rock Bottom and Faithless

Available Now
Order Amazon
Order Barnes & Noble
Rock Bottom and Faithless: Defeating the Lies of Domestic Abuse with God's Truth
  • Home
  • About
    • Site Map
  • Rock Bottom and Faithless
  • Resources
    • Deflating my Triggers
    • Overwhelming Anxiety
    • Tackling Depression after Leaving
    • Book Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • Site Map
  • Rock Bottom and Faithless
  • Resources
    • Deflating my Triggers
    • Overwhelming Anxiety
    • Tackling Depression after Leaving
    • Book Resources
  • Blog
  • Events
  • Contact