Lacking Boundaries with Agitated and Uptight People
I admit, in my small world of existence, there are people who are uptight in nature. I am not particularly happy about this as I work so hard in keeping my world as calm as possible. But, it’s inevitable that sometimes negativity rears its ugly head. Take my work environment for example, almost daily I encounter someone who is “just having a bad day” and wants everyone to know about it.
Who am I to judge? I am sure quiet, withdrawn disposition makes some people uncomfortable. So, I understand the only thing I can control is my reaction to overexcited, uptight, anxious, and agitated people.
Anxiety - Domestic Violence
I need to work on my reactions to anxious people in my world. The first thing I am noticing when an anxious person starts to talk to me is that I almost immediately voice my opinion. And then I voice my opinion again, but maybe in a different way. All I feel during those conversations is my heart screaming “let me help you calm yourself down”. Or, I am thinking, “let me help you figure this out”.
But, stepping back I realize all their anxious disposition is doing to me is taking me from zero to 100 on my anxiety meter within 10 seconds. Yes, physically I am talking with this person but emotionally, I am remembering the battering with my abuser as I desperately tried to just once win/persuade an argument.
What would be more effective is for me to first build a boundary around myself when I come close to uptight and negative people. I should look at these people and repeat to myself: this person’s anxiety is theirs’s to deal with; their anxiety is not for me to worry about. Repeat: this person’s uptight and agitated state is their problem; it is not my situation to fix or worry about. The invisible fence of safety surrounding my heart and mind should ricochet (keep away; don’t allow to stick) any negative thoughts. If someone in my world wants to be negative than that is their choice. But, I am immediately and forever giving myself permission to not accept their feelings as my own!
The faster I can counter the influence of my own anxiety has got to be my goal in all situations! Imagine how motivating it would be if, I quickly countered someone’s negativity with a barrier around my heart; your bad mood isn’t allowed! Think of the hours of anxiety, and eventual coping skills to calm myself down, saved!
I have to keep my mental stability a priority in my world. It is imperative that I do what is needed to put the importance of my staying calm over the useless effects of someone else’s anxious disposition.
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.