Recovering From Domestic Violence Transforming from Domestic Violence Victim to Survivor
Holidays Seem Painful Even after years of counseling and diligently working on my recovery from my domestic abuser, I fell into a dark hole of darkness recently on Thanksgiving Day. There is something deeply hiding within my subconscious during this holiday. Although I prepared myself in advance for the looming anxiety of this day, I …
Lacking Boundaries with Agitated and Uptight People I admit, in my small world of existence, there are people who are uptight in nature. I am not particularly happy about this as I work so hard in keeping my world as calm as possible. But, it’s inevitable that sometimes negativity rears its ugly head. Take my …
Triggers of the Storm Last week, Hurricane Florence hit about 100 miles away from where I live. As I watched endless hours of weather updates, the storm wasn’t really the prominent thing on my mind. Instead, the triggers of the storm took me back to being under the crawl space in our Kansas house while …
Believing the abuse was my fault. My first attempt at reconnecting with my faith started three years before the night my abuser held me in a choke hold. At the time, I had nowhere else to turn; my three-year-old daughter had cancer. Here I was, living in the secret world of domestic violence and I …
To me, it didn’t make sense. My most asked question during my transformation from domestic violence victim to survivor over the past 11 years is this: If I give my life to God, believing and following Him to the best of my abilities, why do bad things still happen in my life? Why doesn’t God, …
For years I believed a painful lie: If I try harder in my marriage, the good guy I used to know will return. Even after my divorce, this crazy thought lingered in my mind. The emotional abuse I endured brainwashed me to believe the horrible things my abuser said about me were true. For example, …
Darkness Overcame Me Accepting the realization that my life wasn’t going to improve while living with my abusive husband was tough. Realizing I was going to have to let go of my marriage; my sacred vow of unity with the guy that I used to love, felt overwhelmingly degrading. My emotional turmoil sifted …
The first few years after separating from my abusive husband were almost as horrible as the abusive days. I knew being away from him was the right thing to do, but in the absence of having him tell me what to do, when to do it, and how to do things, I was a complete …
Words can’t describe the how horrible the first Christmas was for me without my children. Even though this was 10 years ago, I remember the stinging pain as if it had occurred yesterday. As I ponder writing about suggestions on strategies to get through this type of event easier, I am left with very little …
Going Through the Motions Instead of living for the moment, I spent the first few years of being a single mom hoping and praying that I could get through the day. There was always so much to be done while raising my three little children. My head was constantly racing prioritizing what needed to be …