After separating from my abuser, the Book of Proverbs became my foundation of truth; something concrete I could fight the lies of my abuser with.
In my blog last week, I shared the first thing I learned from reading the Book of Proverbs; transforming from a domestic violence victim to survivor was going to take action on my part. This transition wasn’t going to just “happen” because I wanted change to occur. Wanting wasn’t going to be good enough; doing something about my desire to change was required.
Prior to reading the Book of Proverbs, I used the funny feeling in my gut as my asthmas check. My anxiety seemed to be my barometer to emotionally stressful situations. The higher my anxiety (trigger), the more cautious I’d become. This worked well for a while, but it seemed to be cyclic; nothing really changed. I just became more aware of triggering situations. And the triggering situations continued to control my world.
Transforming from domestic violence victim to survivor
Emotional change started occurring when I realized that, in addition to the Book of Proverbs telling me to take action, God’s truth also provided me with a correct understanding of what to do. After so many years of emotional brainwashing, I truly had no idea where to find a correct understanding of what was right versus wrong. For over 20 years my emotions bounced between lies, deception, fear, and extreme doubt. I can honestly say I had no idea…
I held tight to Proverbs 2:1-6 (NIV) which states “My son (daughter), if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, indeed if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand and fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
The weighed down stress of trying to figure out what was truth was immediately lifted. I became so relieved; I wasn’t required to figure out right versus wrong myself! God’s truth provided me with the perimeters. Yes, I openly admitted I wasn’t actually generating a thought on my own yet. But I was okay with this knowing that following God’s guidelines was going to be so much healthier than the confusion that was currently bouncing around in my head.
I found confirmation that following God’s word would lead me to a healthier mental state of well being in many verses but especially in these:
It would be years later until I could actually start trusting my own thoughts, but in order to do this, I had to take the first step by grasping on to something powerful enough to stand up to my abuser’s lies.
Last week, we took a deep look at prayer and action, now we’re taking a look at leaning on God’s wisdom.
As is clear in the passages we read this week, so long as we are actively seeking God’s truth through his word, we will always come away with wisdom.
Wisdom is not just information, it’s a method and mechanism for making good decisions in life. The truth we can find in the book of Proverbs give us guidelines to live by, so that rather than going through life guessing, we can use the wisdom God gives us.
This week, open up your Bible to the book of Proverbs, and see if you can find 3 instructions you can use as a guide for behavior. After all, harkening back to week one, the purpose of this book is “for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair…” (Proverbs 1:2-3.)
Doing this regularly will help develop a habit that can help you not only make the best decisions daily, but when big, stressful situations arise, you’ll be more likely to reach for God’s word and lean on His understanding.
Hi, I'm Sue
Welcome to my blog! I served twenty-one honorable years on active duty, living a double life of capability and accomplishment in the service while enduring brutality and abusiveness in my twenty-one year oppressive marriage. Today I'm happily married and have three children who are my inspiration and motivation.
My goal is to help combat the lies of abusers with the truth of God. I hope you find my words to be healing and helpful through your own life experiences.
Being separated from my abusive husband didn't make me a domestic violence survivor. It surely didn't release me from the grip of his brainwashing control and the innate power he had on me.
Read the full raw story in my new book, Rock Bottom and Faithless.